The promised TV treatment: Time Stands Still
The concept for the show was hatched by my friend, Craig Titley, a screen writer who wrote the soon to be released Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The basic premise of the show is based on an Outer Limits style platform with a twist. I’m not going to reveal the twist just in case this thing gets shopped around again, but if you’re astute, you can probably figure it out.
Craig told me about the concept of the show about two years ago when we were out at dinner in Los Angeles. As he explained the premise I was inspired by an idea that I thought would work for the show and asked if I could write a treatment for the pilot. I wrote the first draft, which is about three times as long as the third draft, on a plane flight to New York. I walked away from it for about a month before coming back to it with fresh eyes to edit and refine the story.
I took a shorter break after the second draft because the story was spinning around the back of my brain all the time and I resolved some of the issues I was having within few weeks. Believe me, it doesn’t always work that way. The next step was to register it with the Writers Guild of America registry to add some level of protection to the intellectual property. After that I turned it in to get pitched.
——
Time Stands Still
by Lou Lesko
Open on the reflection of a dry lake bed in a young girls eyes. The scene changes suddenly to a city street and the girl runs off down the city street giggling to herself.
The story centers around JASON KIM a 27 year old computer tech working at a bank. Jason is not what you would call the hippest guy on the planet, but he’s not the squarest one either. In fact that’s his problem, he has no category. His life is unremarkable except for his crush on LILLY YOUNG. Friends since they were children, Lilly is the late bloomer. When they were kids the bond between Lilly and Jason was based on their shared nondescriptness.
Then Lilly went away to her first year at NEW YORK UNIVERSITY and Jason stayed close to his home in San Francisco attending the University of California at Berkeley. When Lilly came home for her freshman Christmas break, she was transformed. The slightly awkward, slightly homely looking girl was now a stunning and hip with a quirky personality that was almost a rebellion to her past shyness. However, even though she shed her gawkiness, she held on to her honesty and gentle demeanor – this is a rare woman and Jason knew it.
Over the next few years of school Jason and Lilly kept in touch as they always did seeing each other on school breaks. Each time Jason saw Lilly he would fall for her even more. This wasn’t to the exclusion of his own dating life – it was just a deep deep love that he kept under the guise of their friendship. When the time came for Jason to find a job, it was no surprise that he would find employment in New York. Lilly found her passion in the creative field and grabbed a job as a junior copywriter at an ad agency.
Over the next few years Lilly would date groovy, wealthy men. All of the relationships ending up in the toilet. Lilly tolerated her relationship failures because it kept her in the “in” crowd – her new found identity that she didn’t want to lose.
Jason has a great group of friends, but there is an unspoken stratification between Lilly’s social group and Jason’s. It doesn’t matter all that much, Lilly never once treats Jason like anything less than a cherished friend. This is what makes things so hard for Jason – Lilly truly was a good person and not dismissible as one of “them”.
On Jason’s 27th birthday, Lilly takes Jason out for a fabulous dinner. The night is fantastic. Lilly of course knows the perfect small place for them to hang out have a few drinks and talk about their growing up. It is Jason’s night. None of Lilly’s friends or lovers in New York has this bond with her – Jason is beaming. They walk and laugh about their childhood. They even both acknowledge Lilly’s transformation during her freshman year. Everything is on the table in an easy comfortable way.
When Jason hugs Lilly goodnight he puts all his true feelings in the embrace. As he breaks away Lilly looks at him, leans in and kisses him lightly on the lips. “We have a connection that no one else can touch,” she says. “It’s too bad that…” Her voice trails off, she smiles and hugs him again. As she walks up the steps Jason speaks up, “too bad that what?” She turns around and smiles. The intimate atmosphere is gone – she is his friend again. “Happy birthday Jason.” Jason smiles and thanks Lilly for the best night of his life. And just to prove to himself that it happened, he thanks her for the kiss. She replies you’re welcome. That’s it – it really happened. It certainly isn’t a marriage proposal or even a date request, it is just the best night of Jason Kim’s life.
As he walks away he wishes out-loud that he could spend the rest of his life alone with Lilly, without the distractions of wealthy rivals. Dazed and smiling like a drunken sailor, Jason turns the corner and runs smack into our mysterious 12 year old girl. She tumbles to the ground. There is a slight sound of metal on concrete, like someone dropping a silver ingot. Jason apologizes and reaches down to help her up. She giggles and says “you look like you’re on cloud nine mister.”
“I kind of am,“ Jason responds.
She turns and starts to skip away. As she does she yells back, “Maybe you’ll get too keep that feeling forever.” As she runs away Jason notices a silver triangle about the size of a mobile phone on the ground. He realizes that the metal on concrete sound he heard was the triangle. He tries to see the girl in the distance but she is gone.
Jason takes the silver piece home. It weighs more than it seems it should for its size. Like it’s a very dense metal, maybe platinum, Jason concludes. It is perfectly smooth, flawless even though it was dropped. As Jason plays with it he discovers that if he turns it a certain way the triangle becomes translucent and stops time. Thrilled and unbelieving, Jason has some fun with his new found power. He plays pranks on his friends and uses the device to get himself into a hip restaurant. He becomes more confident with the piece, but never stops time for more than a few seconds.
If only he could have stopped time when he was saying goodbye to Lilly on her birthday. That one key moment that he knew she was falling for him. While confiding these feelings in his super geek, lesbian friend- SARAH – she offers a plan. If he could create the same mood in a similar situation, he could stop time long enough for her to realize her feelings for him. The plan seems reasonable except for the fact that Jason realizes that he’ll never get an opportunity like that again. Lilly is too unavailable. She’s always with her friends. Jason rarely gets to see her alone. A little more brainstorming reveals that Lilly’s birthday is a few weeks away. The perfect excuse to take Lilly out for a date, without her suspecting that it’s a date. The plan is hatched. Simple, and sweet. A picnic in the park.
The magic day arrives and the date goes better than expected. Lilly begins looking at Jason the same way she did back on his birthday. Jason activates the device and stops time just as the sun begins to set. It’s perfect. They really start to connect and Lilly, starts to realize that she has feelings for Jason. The date continues, but time does not. So enraptured with the endless moment that Jason never thinks to deactivate the device. Hours go by in this timeless state until Lilly notices the “perfect endless sunset”. Jason comes back down to earth and realizes what he’s done. He fumbles for the device and manipulates it to turn silver and start time again.
The day changes drastically. The ground is covered in snow and the sky is cloudy. Lilly, scared and confused, grabs Jason’s arm. She looks to Jason for an explanation. “How could a storm come in so quickly?”
Jason, desperate for an explanation himself, tries to explain to Lilly that he stopped time. She throws his arm down and looks at him like he’s crazy. In the distance a teenage girl approaching. She is an older version of the girl that Jason bumped into a few months earlier. He recognizes her and quizzes her on her rapid aging. Lilly interjects, demanding to know what the hell is going on – and who is this girl. The girl ignores Lilly and speaks to Jason.
The girl asks Jason if he stopped time to help him win the girl. Jason replies. “You know I did!”
The girl looks at him intently. “You got your wish, can I have my triangle back.” Jason doesn’t want to give the triangle back until she explains where they are and how she got years older in a matter of months.
“Did you think that you actually had the power to stop time, that the entire planet just stopped so you could get the girl? Time is a river – and you got off the river for six years.” The reality starts to hit Jason and desperately starts protesting his situation.
“I only stopped time for a couple of hours, how could six years go by?”
The girl explains that there is no way to gauge how much time passes by when you are not in it – there’s no reference point. When Jason was stopping time before, it was only for a few seconds an easy interval for internal body clocks. But when he forgot about the device while he was wooing Lilly – his ability to track time diminished. The girl continues to explain that because they disappeared for so long – they can’t go back. Too many events have transpired as a result of their disappearing. Jason and Lilly’s disappearance affected the fate of people they know which in turn affected those people and so on and outward in an infinite concentric circle
For them to go back now would devastate the world as it has become. In fact if they do return, they risk causing such a ripple in the time continuum, that children that were born as a result of a set of events put into motion by their disappearance, might actually disappear themselves.
“So what do we do?” Jason asks deflated.
“Do what you wished for, find a quiet spot, away from society and be with each other for the rest of your time.”
She grabs the triangle out of Jason’s hand and starts to walk away. Jason screams after her. “When I made that wish I meant it but I didn’t mean this- anyone would realize that!”
“I was twelve when I heard you. To a twelve year old you mean what you mean.”
“But why? What did you gain?”
“Time to grow older.”
She disappears and we close on her at the dry lake bed placing the triangle vertically on a circular stone table. Pull back to reveal that it’s a sundial.
Related Posts
No related posts.




